Graduation

It seems like life is set up into different parts that pretty much apply to all of us. You have your child age which includes toddlers, tween, teenagers and that such, then you go on to adult which includes early adult and middle age, and senior. Something that I have gotten a habit into thinking is every time I continue on to the next grade I think of it as a new beginning. Another chance to try something new, to maybe alter a bit of my personality to make myself a better person. It was good to feel like I had another chance to get something right. Once 3:10 hit today, I realized there was another new beginning.... But it will be one of my very last. There is no reset button for life anymore. You don't graduate or move on to a new grade. These years are going to be what define me as a person. How I'm going to act, how I'm going to react to the world around me...... Scary stuff. My worst fear is the fear of becoming a bad person. I don't think I am now, but even the whitest of clothes can get a stain. That is scary stuff.

On a side note, I almost cried for the first time today about leaving. I know most of you probably don't care all too much about water rolling down my face, but I don't cry all that much so I thought I would document it.

It was in choir class today. 4th hour, right in the middle of the day. I was perfectly fine the whole period, not even close to crying... But then that bell rang. I was in choir for all four years of high school. It was like a home to me inside that jungle, and it's hard to believe that a single bell that lasts for 3 seconds could end four years of good memories. I looked at the risen steps that had all the chairs on them and realized... I will never see this class room from this perspective ever again. But I swallowed that. I decided I couldn't leave that class without shaking my teachers hand and thanking him for the past four years of my life. I couldn't even look him in the eye without tears welling up in my eyes. I told him, "Thank you. For everything you have taught me and everything you have done for me." He just looked back and said, "Jeff, it was all my pleasure." I could feel tears welling up again. But I swallowed them. Then finally... I see her. Evelyn. One of my absolute best friends. One of two friends who i can truly say is was friends with since freshman year. I looked at her, and I hugged her, but I didn't want to let go; because I knew as soon as I let go, I'm letting go of this class and moving on from it. I would give anything to go back to that class.... Not high school, but that class. I hugged her tight, and realized I was probably suffocating her, so I let go. Tears once again welled up in my eyes. They almost came out of my eyes, but then at the last moment I was able to hold them in. It's not the time to cry yet, but I have a feeling it will be.

THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO HAS HELPED ME FEEL AT HOME IN MY HIGH SCHOOL YEARS. I AM BLESSED TO HAVE KNOWN YOU, AND I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO REPAY THE DEBT I OWE YOU!!!



On to another chapter